Without a doubt the currency of the Fire Service is Trust. Without it all emergency services, and especially the Fire Service, would struggle to operate. I am sure it's true in all countries that the Fire Service almost always tops the chart of "Most Trusted Occupations", and I'm very proud to be a part of an organisation with that quality. This is important, not just between us and the public but also amongst members of a crew. Our job can be dangerous and you need to be able to rely on the people you respond with, and your ability to trust their integrity and courage is essential ... If not, "Who's got your back?" Stephen Covey in his book "The Speed of Trust" says that transactions that occur where trust is high happen faster and cheaper. We rely on this when on calls to allow us to take control and get the job done quickly and effectively. This point can be demonstrated by contrasting two stories: Scenario #1: One day I responded to a call directly from home to a young woman having a serious asthma attack. I arrived about 6 minutes before the rest of my crew and therefore only had myself, my uniform and conversation to make a difference. She was Status 2, which basically means "really sick", but on arrival you could see a definite sense of relief from the family along with a look of desperation from her for me to do something quickly. The important thing here was that my uniform, which clearly displayed Fire Rescue, gave me immediate credibility with her and her family. If I had turned up in a pair of shorts and a tee shirt, time would have been wasted explaining who I was and building that trust. All I could do was build on that trust by showing empathy, confidence and gaining her focus and talking her towards a more controlled mode of breathing and relaxation. This was an extremely dangerous situation for her, but as trust was established immediately I could be effective without wasting time. Of course when I saw the uniforms of the Ambulance Paramedics, I was relieved myself because I knew I could trust them, and because they had the necessary drugs the woman so urgently required. Fast forward a couple of months to Scenario #2. I was again responding directly to a call from home. On arrival I found a man in cardiac arrest, but after a very short period of CPR his heart beat returned. So short a time in fact that I thought I must have made a mistake. Again I was awaiting my crew and without monitoring equipment. My instinct however was that the situation was cardiac, despite his wife's insistence that he had too had had an asthma attack and collapsed. A short while later a Paramedic arrived and my uniform, combined with my uncertainty, worked against me. I wasn't the expert, the Paramedic was, and as a result I lost some of his trust. He disregarded my diagnosis and focused on the asthma with little effect. I don't blame him for this, I was a little uncertain; but still, the ambulance crew didn't take my advice seriously because I was "just a fire fighter", as opposed to being a "fully trained paramedic". Later that day, while on another job with that crew, they told me I'd been correct and the man had in fact had a heart attack. To me, the business learning is this... Trust does speed up transactions and reduce their cost, so don't under estimate its power. But you can't just demand Trust, or talk about it to get it. It must be earned and nurtured. It will not occur in your organization because you ask for it, or because you talk about it at meetings... Trust is subjective... Trust is based on gestures, symbols and behaviour, not just words.

Do you live and work with integrity?

Does trust ease your transactions or do you abuse relationships by talking about values you don't live up to?

Where you give trust to people or organizations, is it deserved and are you clear what to "be trusted" means?

In the following video, you'll see fire crews working together as teams in extremely challenging and dangerous situations ... It only works where trust exists... What will you do today to improve the level of organisational trust you have so that you can go to the extreme together tomorrow? UPDATE 11th July 2009 Just read this great post by Justin French on Trust

The presentation by Merlin Man and John Gruber was called 149 Surprising Ways to Turbocharge Your Blog With Credibility. In reality it was a discussion about authenticity and how you blog. It brought into focus what I've been thinking about for the last couple of months and made me realise what I have been trying to deny for a while now. That is that blogging is probably the most difficult thing I have ever done.

I'm used to being successful, but blogging hurts

I've had a blessed life. By blessed I mean we worked like crap to provide a great product, have awesome experiences and try like hell to add value to other people's lives and help them be successful. We've worked hard to make our "good luck", and with my blog I'd like to think I'm doing the same. I'd be the first to admit that I'm not a brilliant writer, but I do share what's deep inside and allow myself to be vulnerable so people know I'm being real in the hope that they might also benefit from my experience. The reward so far has been an analytics graph that makes my heart sink. I swear visiting analytics is like a crack habit. You go from a high of seeing a post get 10k+ page views one day to the low of watching the graph dwindle over the next week because you haven't found time for another post, or because the next story doesn't get as much traction. LOL it's like going from Rooster to Feather Duster.

It scares the shit out of me as I am used to seeing the whites of people's eyes

What I find hardest, is that I can't see how people react. I know from analytics that people do read what I write, but I don't know who those people are and, when they finish, I still haven't made the site focused or sticky enough and most don't come back. Face to face, I can see you laugh or cry, and when you walk away I can call you back, even tackle you to the ground. Online though, that's not an option, and I struggle with the fact that you are anonymous and I haven't got you to subscribe or participate through comments yet.

Being a leader means finding your voice, but what about being humble?

Seth talks about developing a Tribe, being a leader, and the fact that the world needs leaders. I work with a group of people who are leaders. They develop Lovemarks and care passionately about the clients they work for and the treasures they create. But we were taught to be humble, to be soft spoken, even self deprecating. We were taught that it's not our role to toot our own trumpet, but in a world where companies treble their story and consumers halve what they believe, does that work anymore? We think so ... but we will need to lead our tribe, not merely participate in a community. The old rule needs refining. I am their leader, or a least one of our leaders, but have struggled to find my voice. I believe however that what the industry will see over the next few months and the coming year, is that we are finding our voice and are passionate about the industry we work in. We are passionate about working with the best photographers in the world to tell stories together, to document the coming together of families and to help people remember forever.

So, what is my priority ... what do I love?

My realisation is that my passion is human connection, love, community and people interacting with people. Even the technology I love and use is all about enabling connecting. My community is not the 1000 odd families that live with me here in my suburb of Laingholm, but the global village I have been a part of now for over 20 years. I love and admire photographers, their craft and the challenge they face weekly as story tellers as they capture the beauty of each family, individual and wedding. I love the business, both mine and helping them with theirs. I love the brides and grooms who value what we do, those that care enough about their own story to have it captured by an artist like Brett and then have that story told in a Queensberry for 'their future' to enjoy and treasure.

And I love blogging too

Maybe it's the crack high, maybe it's the challenge, maybe it's some narcissistic need to make it work, but I love blogging too. It's really about the connection, it's about talking with people, it's about's getting outside of yourself. I love it ... so much it hurts :-)

As a Fire Fighter, I get to spend some time with people at the end of their lives, and it gives you a moment to reflect on your own. Does this person die with regrets? Will I or the people I love do the same? It therefore seems a great irony that, at the closing moment in someone else's life, your own involvement makes you feel so alive. As you work on a person with CPR your adrenaline rushes, you're instantly present and if you did have any worry it vanishes. It's not fun, but it is a very powerful moment where you focus on what is important. I read a wonderful book a few years ago called "The Tibetan Book Of Living and Dieing", and so it was a great honour this week to hear Tenzin Kacho, a Buddhist Nun, speak. (She was formerly Emi Kiyosaki, sister of Robert Kiyosaki, with whom she's written this book.) In her presentation she spoke of her work at an LA Hospice and about the 3 most common regrets people have at the end of their lives and I have listed them below. These regrets tend to be the same, rich or poor, and irrespective of race. I don't really have regrets, but I did last year write of a few of my own. LOL many people don't have any "million dollar ideas" and I have had and ignored more than I can count. If there is anything I have learnt over the years, to be a successful entrepreneur and happy human being you must do your best to avoid these regrets, and most importantly learn to take ...

#1 - Take a leap of faith

I am sure this one affects us all, but must be the one that holds the key to the most excitement and passion in our lives. To unlocks life's riches we must simply take a leap of faith. All the regrets I spoke about in my post occurred because I didn't take that leap. If you want love, you must eventually take that leap, and if you want to be successful in business you must continually take those leaps of faith ... “Have Courage or Die”

#2 - Say what needs to be said

The second regret is people focus on all the things they should have said but didn't, often having left things until it was to late. Maybe not telling someone they loved them, or a child they were proud of them, or not having stood up for themselves and expected more from others. Sonya and my relationship is a testament to the fact that most of the deep issues did not occur from what "was said", but "what wasn't".

#3 - Forgive

Anger, resentment, and hurt are a dark cloud that travels with us through our lives if we do not learn to forgive. This darkness and the associated stories have a way of stacking emotionally over time if we do not learn and choose to forgive. It is interesting therefore that, one of the most common regrets is to have 'not forgiven'. Is it possible that, given the perspective of our 'whole life', issues that once seemed so huge become irrelevant. I find myself wondering: How would someone's life change if they forgave when it mattered, rather than when it was too late?

Let's commit ...

We have one go at this, so let's live a little dangerously. Let's tell people what we want and need, let's tell people what they need to hear, even if it's as simple as "I love you", or "I'm proud of you". Let's let go of any hurt and decide to forgive – because as soon as we do, a burden will be lifted. And in everything we do ... let's take a leap of faith.   This post was my homework for day two "31 days to build a better blog"

Imagine if there was something that, if you did it consistently, would improve all relationships completely. Wouldn't that be amazing? I don't want to overstate it, but I think the concept of the "Umbrella of Rapport", might just be that powerful, so please enjoy. Today I came across some notes from an internal presentation that I did for our sales people last year on how they might improve their relationships, in this case with our clients. Part of it included this powerful idea. I don't take credit for it, I first heard it from Tony Robbins, but I have added my own thoughts below.
In my opinion the price of entry in business today, includes a number of things without which you won't even be considered. These are: - Being professional - Being trustworthy and reliable - Being educated - Working hard - Having a plan for success To stand out you need to do even more, which is where rapport comes in. SO WHAT IS THE UMBRELLA OF RAPPORT? Essentially it's the idea that you must base all your interactions around the idea of building and maintaining rapport ... If you do, life is good, if you don't you get wet. Imagine for a moment that you aren't in a negotiation, but you are the gentleman above walking with his partner. For both of you to share this umbrella he must assume the responsibility of keeping both of them dry, not just himself. Life is generally the same, in that we must all take responsibility for the rapport we have with others, and not take it for granted, because as soon as it's broken relationships become strained. So let's look at this example from a few different perspectives. What if ... - One is party is small and the other big? Suddenly we have different needs, these needs must be honored. - One person is walking fast while other wants to go slow or stop all the time. We all know that this can be really frustrating, but if it's a fact we must allow for it: otherwise this is a guaranteed way for one of you to be wet and pissed off. - Whose responsibility is it to maintain rapport, who is in control? The person holding the umbrella (running the negotiation) or the other person. The truth is we both need to take care. - What if you must break rapport? Maybe the man decides he must run for the car. Maybe in life everyone's needs can't be met, or a difficult message needs to be delivered. Is breaking rapport justified and how might it be recovered? - Who sets direction? - Who must be the most careful? Image how your marriage might be if your first goal was to love and honor that person, to build and maintain rapport before trying to meet your own needs. You would suddenly see that we travel at different speeds, have different needs, and both must work at communication. Image if you "loved" your customers, or should I say treated them with love, making rapport the central goal first, before the sale? What would those relationships be like, what would being at work be like? Sadly I think most of us are fairly careless when it comes to the rapport we have with others, myself included at times. We are successful often due to good luck rather than good management, and that's what makes this concept so powerful. If you dare to be different, if you dare to throw your heart into your relationships first, you stand out as a shinning light in comparison to everyone who's just going through the motions.Further ReadingRapport in educationRapport in salesIn dating ... Please forgive me for this example :-) Rapport with your coffee I hope you enjoyed this, I'd love to hear your own stories and what you think, how about sharing below?